#18

I can't help myself. When I get to feeling like this I start to look back on old conversations. And it's breaking my heart.

Why do I keep doing this to myself? I'm just hurting more and more each day, because I know that there's no way in hell that you're coming back this time. And I keep lying to everyone and putting on a brave face. Hell, Alyssa is having relationship problems and keeps asking me how I got over you. And I don't have to the heart to tell her that I'm not over you. 

It's killing me. You're the only person that I ever loved. The only person that I ever want to love. The only person who loves/loved me. And hell, I don't even know if you still think about me. 

Because it's over. And I don't know why I can't move on yet.

-Laura

#17 - Yesterday was the best day of my life.

And I'm not joking. I got the opportunity of a lifetime offered to me. I went to see my friend's in This Love play. And I was hanging out with Joe. And, well, here's how it went pretty much.

"I miss you guys so much!" -Me
"I know! I miss you a lot too! We never see each other anymore and I hate it!" -Joe
"I know. I'm just so broke and..." -Me
"I understand..." -Joe
-silence for a few seconds-
"Dude...why don't you come on tour and work for us? We'll pay you!" -Joe
"Um, what?" -Me
"Yeah!" -Joe

And that's how I got offered my dream job. I want to do it so bad. Really bad. SO REALLY BAD. I need to do this. This is THE opportunity. This can send me places. And I always wanted to go on tour with a band! OMG I HAVE TO DO THIS, RIGHT?! Right...Right?

-Laura

#16 - First all-nighter

Major college english paper #2 due in 9 hours.

It's finished, but not perfect.

I need it to be perfect.

Please be perfect.

It's about Matthew Leone and his attack so I hope I get a good grade on it.

-Laura

#15 - Did you know...

That I love Madina Lake?

Because I do.

-Laura

#14 - :)

So I met a new friend today. Not physically, but online. She's related to Nathan and Matthew from Madina Lake. She's really nice too and down to earth! She and I are becoming really good friends. :) I hope we can continue building this friendship. She's just really genuine and nice. :D

-Laura